Reframing: A Life Skill We Don’t Teach Enough

I’m in Portland, OR, for the National Education Association Representative Assembly. Those of you who know me know Kelli, my wife, and I attend each year, and have for the past 20.  As delegates, we participate in the largest democratic body in the world, helping make decisions on NEA budget, legislative goals, policies, and goals. It’s tough and interesting work. We both love it. It also gives me much time to think, and I got to wondering about curriculum and what’s important to our kids.

We teach math, writing, and history. We teach lab skills and how to analyze a novel. But what about the life skill of reframing—the ability to look at the same situation through a new lens, to soften the edges, and shift from stuck to open?

Reframing is something I came to understand more deeply both as a teacher and later, in retirement. And the more I reflect, the more I realize how essential it is—not just for getting through the hard moments, but for making meaning of the whole arc of life.

What Is Reframing, Really?

In psychology, reframing means changing the way we interpret a situation so that it feels different emotionally—even though the facts haven’t changed. I used to see this happen in my classroom all the time. A student struggling with test anxiety might say, “I’m just not good at this,” but with a little nudging, they’d start to see their anxiety as part of the learning curve—not a sign of failure. That moment of shift? That was reframing. And it often changed everything.

Reframing in Action: Stress, Scrubbing, and the Stories We Tell Ourselves

Not every shift in perspective needs to be poetic. Sometimes, it’s just a subtle nudge—a change in how we interpret what’s already happening.

Take stress, for example. In a study by psychologist Jeremy Jamieson, students were taught to reframe their pre-test anxiety as something helpful—a sign their body was gearing up to perform. That small shift in mindset had a measurable impact: the students performed better on their exams than those who saw stress as a threat. Same heartbeat, same sweaty palms—just a different story about what it meant.

Another favorite comes from Ellen Langer, a psychologist known for her work on mindfulness and perception. In one study, hotel housekeepers were told that the physical tasks they did every day—vacuuming, lifting, scrubbing—actually counted as legitimate exercise. That reframe alone, without changing their routines, led to improved physical health: lower blood pressure, weight loss, better body image.

What changed? Not their behavior, but their beliefs about it.

Both studies point to the same quiet truth: when we reinterpret what’s happening—when we tell ourselves a different story—we open the door to new outcomes. Reframing isn’t about pretending life is different. It’s about realizing we can see it differently. And when we do, things often begin to shift.

Reframing in the Classroom

I remember one semester when a student failed their first two quizzes in Psych 101. They were discouraged, nearly dropped the class. But we sat down, reviewed how they were studying, and looked at what they had understood. I asked, “What if this isn’t about ability—but about strategy?” That shift helped the student reframe failure not as evidence they didn’t belong, but as part of the process of learning how to learn. They passed the course—and remembered the lesson more than the content.

Reframing in the classroom isn’t about sugarcoating. It’s about perspective. We scaffold not just skills, but also confidence. We help students re-see themselves.

Reframing With Age: Slowing Down, Opening Up

Now, years into retirement, I find myself reframing again—this time in my own life. Where I once valued productivity and output, I now value presence. Where I used to race through semesters, I now take time to complete tasks and longer pauses.

Aging, if we allow it, offers its own kind of spaciousness. I’m no longer defined by the rhythm of the school year, but by a quieter, deeper rhythm. The question becomes: not just what am I doing?—but who am I becoming?

That shift—from doing to being—is one of the hardest to see because we’ve been taught to equate purpose with action. But maybe the real transformation happens when we let go of striving and begin to trust stillness.

A Spiritual Practice

Reframing isn’t just psychological—it’s deeply spiritual. It asks us to look again. To ask, “What else might this be?” To loosen our grip on control and let the mystery in.

Scripture echoes this in Romans 12:2—“Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Renewal doesn’t always come from effort. Sometimes it comes from surrender, from being willing to see with new eyes.

In this season of life, reframing is helping me release old patterns, soften old stories, and stay open to what Spirit might be saying now. It’s no longer just a classroom strategy—it’s a way of being.

We Should Teach This Early and Often

Imagine if we taught reframing alongside writing and science. If we helped children practice looking at failure, feedback, or fear through a different lens. We’d be giving them more than academic tools—we’d be teaching wisdom.

It starts with metacognition—thinking about how we think. And it grows into compassion—for ourselves and others. Because when we know that perspective can change, we become less judgmental, more curious, and a lot more hopeful.

So, I wonder –

• What stories are you still telling yourself—and how might they be retold?
• What does it mean to reframe your life through faith, surrender, or deeper listening?
• How do your spiritual beliefs support you in letting go of old narratives and embracing new ones?
• Where might God be inviting you to see something differently?
• How has your view of yourself changed as you’ve grown older?
• How might you help students practice reframing in their own academic or personal challenges?